the-disney-world-veteran:

professorhook:

al-grave:

godotal:

Randomly remembering a joke and laughing about it to yourself

This fucking duck. Gets me every time.

This duck is me always

But one time I remembered this gif and did the same thing

smilefor-medarling:

Some of these are so awkward, and some are great, and there’s that one with the dad that’s just 100% heartbreaking.

mrshudsoniamnotgay:

esm398:

jakebumlick:

pika-brew:

pika-brew:

My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.

The guy said sure.

So we decided to leave a nice little note
image

image

and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!

image

oMGGGG

image

pizza cares

Pizza understands

the pizza guy spelled domino’s wrong

theycallmethemoose:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

stammsternenstaub:

saxifraga-x-urbium:

asterion22:

prettylittletmi:

Daniel Radcliffe Brushes Off ‘Fifty Shades’ Snub (x)

I appreciate the very real disgust on his face in the second gif. 

i bet rob pattinson just rang him up and screamed don’t do it in the phone

I bet this phonecall happened at 2am with no greeting and Dan knew exactly who it was and why.

I bet Robert Pattinson has made it his mission in life to prevent people from taking shitty roles that will haunt them forever and everyone in Hollywood knows it and now he’s like the Acting Avenger

the Acting Avenger

professionalcinnabon:

tabloid-lover:

jamietheundeadamerican:

iwillmindfuckyou:

kneel-on-nails:

forever-kitten:

Damn son our uterus stretches like 5x the size and then contracts and pushes a 7 pound baby out of a small tube into life if you think that isn’t metal as fuck get out of my face

YOUR ORGANS THOUGH IM SO SORRY LADIES

damn selfish babies taking up all the space

NAW MAN, LET ME FUCKING TELL YOU ABOUT PREGNANCY AND BABIES, ALRIGHT?

FIRST OF ALL, IT SUCKS DICK. FIRST OFF LET ME GIVE YOU A MOTHERFUCKING RUNDOWN ON WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T EAT OR DRINK WHEN YOU’RE PREGNANT.

  • SUSHI
  • EGGS
  • NO UNCOOKED ANYTHING IN FUCKING GENERAL ACTUALLY. AND ESPECIALLY NOT FISH.
  • ANYTHING WITH CAFFEINE IN IT, WHICH INCLUDES COFFEE, SODA, CHOCOLATE (THAT’S RIGHT, NO CHOCOLATE), SEVERAL TYPES OF COOKIES AND CANDIES, AND ENERGY DRINKS.
  • VEGETABLES AND MEATS THAT ARE RICH IN NITRATES LIKE HOTDOGS, SAUSAGE, LETTUCE, SPINACH AND CELERY.

SO BASICALLY IF YOU’RE USED TO EATING OR DRINKING ANY OF THOSE THINGS YOU BETTER BE PREPARED TO QUIT COLD TURKEY THE SECOND YOU GET PREGNANT.

NOW I’M NOT EVEN DONE. YOU SEE THAT PINK UPSIDE-DOWN TRIANGLE BELOW THE BABY’S HEAD? YEAH? THAT’S YOUR BLADDER. BABIES SQUEEZE DOWN ON THAT LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW AND ONCE YOU HIT THE THIRD TRIMESTER, YOU BASICALLY HAVE AN ELDERLY PERSON’S BLADDER. MY MOTHER TELLS ME SHE HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AT LEAST 6 TIMES A DAY JUST SO SHE WOULDN’T WET HERSELF. ALSO WITH A BABY SQUEEZING’ UP AGAINST YOUR FUCKING INTESTINES LIKE THAT SAY HELLO TO CONSTIPATION NATION, EVERYONE.

SO NOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE THE BLADDER AND BOWELS OF AN OLD PERSON, BUT THAT GROWING HUMAN BEING GROWING OUT OF YOUR GULLET ALSO PUTS A HUUUUGE STRAIN ON YOUR BACK. NOT TO MENTION IT’S A PAIN IN THE FUCKING ASS TO MOVE ANYWHERE, SINCE YOU NEED TO START WALKING LIKE SOMEONE OUT OF A MONTY PYTHON SKIT JUST TO GET AROUND EFFICIENTLY. ALSO THAT ADDED WEIGHT MAKES YOUR FEET ACHE SOMETHING AWFUL. SO WHAT CAN YOU DO?

WELL GUESS WHAT. YOU CAN’T TAKE ASPRIN. ABSOLUTELY NO ASPRIN. NO IBUPROFEN, NO NAPROXEN NO NOTHING. 

SO NOT ONLY ARE YOU IN PROBABLY THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE YOU WILL EVER BE, BUT YOUR MEDICINE CHOICES ARE EXTREMELY FUCKING LIMITED. (AND NO, I MENTIONED NO CHOCOLATE EITHER.)

DO YOU GUYS NOT REALIZE THAT THE FATE OF SOCIETY AND THE HUMAN RACE IN GENERAL IS BASED ON THE FACT THAT WOMEN MOSTLY CHOOSE TO GET PREGNANT? FOR LITTLE TO NO REWARD?! THE UNITED STATES ONLY GIVES 12 UNPAID WEEKS OF MATERNITY LEAVE ON AVERAGE. 

YOU WOULD THINK THAT THE FUCKING PROCESS BY WHICH OUR POPULATION CONTINUES TO GROW WOULD BE FUCKING REWARDED AND CELEBRATED, NOT SWEPT UNDER THE FUCKING RUG LIKE A PIECE OF FUCKING DUST.

/RANT OVER

Greatest rant ever.

smackdown

» I Once Dated A Writer and

fortyfour-sunsets:

Writers are forgetful,

but they remember everything.
They forget appointments and anniversaries,
but remember what you wore,
how you smelled,
on your first date…
They remember every story you’ve ever told them -
like ever,
but forget what you’ve just said.
They don’t remember to water the plants
or take out the trash,
but they don’t forget how
to make you laugh.
.
Writers are forgetful
because
they’re busy
remembering
the important things.

fuckonthis:

this is so important.

you fucking asshole.

laura-thesedays:

SIGNAL BOOST THIS NEWS! Seriously, how come this isn’t all over tumblr? Angelina Jolie presided over the largest ever global anti-rape summit. She is using her celebrity for good. She is addressing rape in wartime and in conflict zones, which is where it is perpetuated on the most massive scale and in which context always has been used as a weapon.

Feminists of tumblr should get behind this woman. Let’s stop the perpetual erasure and trivialization of women in the media through their sexualization and start looking at the work that they do. Her acts here are easily in danger of being eclipsed by her image in the tabloids which is more concerned with her relationship to Brad Pitt and the fact that she is a sex symbol than the important feminist work that she is performing RIGHT NOW. 

I am such a fan of this lady… and she does not deserve to be trivialized for being a woman, a sex symbol, and a celebrity. Here, she is working for social justice for women all over the world. She’s doing what’s right.

lovelikeliquor:

repobsession:

manif3stlove:

thecelestialchild:

thecdashrich:

thekewl:

danivalentine:

Jack Nicholson, who played the Joker in 1989 - and who was furious he wasn’t consulted about the creepy role - offered a cryptic comment when told Ledger was dead. 

“Well,” Nicholson told reporters in London early Wednesday, “I warned him.”

That last quote gave me chills

Really? Interesting if true

I read something that said he told him not to do it. Joker is one of, if not the, most sadistic villains. He kills to kill. There’s no method. Which is why all of the previous portrails were campy or jokey.

There is no way you can portray a character like that and not bring home even the smallest bits of it.  It’s kind of sad. The Joker was scary as shit, and I honestly believe that getting into that character messed with his head.

It would be really interesting to see the notebook Ledger kept while working up the character, maybe it did mess with his head.. and that quote is something to think about, if true. 

Heath Ledger was hugely affected by this role. Nicholson did warn him against it. To prepare, Ledger spent vast amount of time alone and kept a production diary as mentioned above. The last thing he wrote in his diary was BYE BYE.
heath ledger's last journal entryLedger talked about his inability to fall asleep and how even with two ambien he barely slept at night. As is widely known, Ledger died of an overdose. Some say it was accidental while others believe he was a partier… The drugs he died of were meant for insonima, anxiety, pain, and a cold and none were taken in excess. Heath was a troubled man after his role as the joker, but no one can deny he played that role better than anyone ever had or ever will.

The sadness of the situation aside, this is an amazing photo of the jokers.

lolicrafter:

inga-na:

Actresses + suits

LADIES IN SUITS THOUGH

audreyii-fic:

Hey, remember when we thought this was, like, a fun superhero parody with silly songs and whatnot? And we all laughed and laughed? And then the last five minutes happened?

Remember that?

I DO.

howthehoolychillz:

princeburrito:

"The Flicking Candle Company"

clever clever clever use of name AND font.

Im dying

REBLOG | Posted 2 days ago With 53,124 notes + Ori. Via

tardiscrash:

crowley-for-king:

to-boldly-go-down-on-me:

The idea that nerds are awkward and don’t ever socialize is the stupidest stereotype ever because like

Have you ever seen two nerds together?

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A CONVENTION?

Give us a topic of a common interest and we’ll socialize way past what normal people can tolerate.

Just because we don’t want to talk to you doesn’t mean we don’t want to talk.

everything-is-connected:

catrickstump:

dispopular:

gamzeemakarababy:

I HAVE BEEN WATCHING THIS SHOW FOR THE PAST SEVEN YEARS AND JUST NOW REALIZED THEYRE WEARING YOUNG AND OLD VERSIONS OF THE SAME OUTFIT

I was thinking about this like what if Madame Foster wished she was young again so she could do errands that aren’t easy for her in her old age, so she imagined Frankie.

DON’T.

STOP RIGHT THERE. NOT A SINGLE STEP CLOSER.